“Ballet was my safest space. Then my body changed. I got curvy, and I got self-conscious. I couldn’t stop thinking about everyone looking at me—what they were seeing.”
This was a great look at an issue that is sadly common: negative body image. So many women and young girls are plagued by this, and I can tell you from personal experience that it’s such a sad place to be.
Okay, time to get serious: When I was thirteen my body changed, and like Sam, I wasn’t prepared for it. Rather than accepting my new curves, I saw myself as “fat.” For three years my mind was a dark place; my negative view of my body weighed down other things in my life, such as my happiness. I was incredibly self conscious in front of others, constantly tried new diets, and was really depressed.
Sam is a ballerina who is under the incredible pressure to look a certain way: slim and lanky, something curvy Sam is not. She is unhappy with her body and her nasty inside voice tells her she’s fat, even when she totally isn’t. Sam has trouble eating in front of others and hates being stared at; she won’t eat something as small as a Hershey’s Kiss because she thinks it has too many calories.
The plot follows Sam as she is sent to a therapy camp where she meets other teens who have anxiety issues. It was so heartbreaking to read about the characters’ individual struggles, but this just made me cheer them on even harder when they made breakthroughs by conquering their problems.
I liked that the brief “romance” between Sam and her counselor, Andrew, was properly addressed and not portrayed as a positive thing. Relying on someone to fuel her self esteem was dangerous, and Holmes showed that Sam didn’t need Andrew to feel better about herself, but accomplished it on her own.
I think so many readers will get where Sam’s coming from. I feel like most of us, especially females, have been in her shoes at some point. It was an emotional, powerful, and mentally exhausting journey for Sam, and I felt her struggles every step of the way.
“What’s more important: what your body looks like, or what it can do?”
I think How it Feels to Fly might help those who are going through something similar to Sam, as it offers lots of psychological tips. Sam’s mental illness was taken seriously, just as much as if she were physically wounded. Easily readable, it hit so close to home.
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