Willowdean was a horrible protagonist who thought horrible things about her own body and the bodies of others. When a girl in her school asked the boy she liked out (when he and Will weren’t even dating), she made nasty references to the girl’s clothes and body.
When Will finally joins her mom’s beauty pageant to prove that she’s not ashamed of her body, her best friend, Ellen, signs up too. Will tells Ellen that she has to back out because Ellen has a beautiful, nonfat body and she might actually win. Then Will wonders why Ellen is so angry with her.
To make things even more perplexing, Will occasionally made some body-empowering statements or stuck up for some poor girl who was getting bullied at school. It sent a confusing message when the main character went from saying anyone should be able to wear a swimsuit to commenting meanly on other girls’ clothes and bodies or saying she hated her thighs.
There was also a cheesy romance that didn’t make a lick of sense. Will had a crush on her co-worker, Bo, who was constantly sucking red lollipops (which made me roll my eyes) and unintentionally made Will feel bad about her body.
“There’s really no use in me trying to be invisible to him. There’s no hiding an elephant.”
Bo was the typical “brooding bad boy” who didn’t say much, was hugely muscular, and had perfect teeth except for a tiny, crooked imperfection in his front teeth. He was basically a cliché love interest on steroids.
Bo also tried to control Will and repeatedly asked her to be his girlfriend. What he said in one scene actually made me mad:
I pull my ponytail loose to let my curls breathe.
“Are you trying to get me to kiss you?” he asks.
“What? No. Why would you say that?”
“Then put your hair back up.”
Jaw slack, I stare at him, waiting for him to say something else.
He doesn’t look away. “I’m serious.”
I flip my hair over and gather it into a ponytail.
I wouldn’t have minded a typical chick lit story if it had been led by a strong, empowering protagonist, but Dumplin’ served up nothing more than a meaningless, superficial story I’ve read so many times before. It was definitely an easy read, but it wasn’t even fun, harmless brain candy. It was just pointless.
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